Dear Honduras, it’s time for an intervention….

, originally uploaded by rj california.

I usually do not interfere with international affairs, except for some facebook statuses and bailout notes. However, since the army of Honduras is still holding my cousin, I feel compelled to make a little intervention.

Honduras, what are you doing? Seriously, what are you doing? The United Nations, The SICA, The CA-4 is not very happy with the current political situation. Emergency meetings are being held by those organizations. Those meetings are to decide the future of Honduras. No, they are not planning the next pajama party, you idiot! Every country member of those organizations are debating what kind of punishment you will receive if Mel Zelaya does not comeback as President of Honduras.

Honduras gals/guys, I love you, and I love your country (Not your capital city, Tegucigalpa, ‘cause it looks shitty and like a fucking Somalian City) Please follow the following advices, please do. It is for your own good:

1. Get Mel Back!!
I know some of you don’t like the fucking bastard, but hey, you can vote against him! Not everything can to be solved with a M-16.

2. Look for a good Presidential Candidate
Come on, how hard can it be? It’s not like your only hope is a bald guy who can’t talk/read well. By doing this, you will ensure that the current ruling political party never reaches the Presidency ever again.

3. Return the Conejo Island
It is embarrassing to be asking for this. It is not part of your country, and it will never be. La Haya International Courthouse never included this piece of shit as part of your territory. It belongs to El Salvador, so give it back now!

4. Beg
I know you are arrogant as hell, but you have to do this in order to restore your good reputation. Ask for forgiveness with the UN, SICA, CA-4, etc. Beg, cry if you need to.

5. Pinky Promise that you will never try to Overthrown the Government
You need to do this, and sign every single fucking agreement that forces you to never do this again. Also, include some nachos in the agreement, so that you have some snacks for the rebels.


Finally, release my cousin, ‘cause he doesn’t have anything to do with Honduras.

Thank You America and Goodnight!